Have you ever had one of those days where you expect it to be a happy joyful day yet it all goes the other way round? Well, I have experienced it! It was one of those rare occasions where I was going out without my kids so what could possibly go wrong? So, I woke up that morning excitedly spent over 30 minutes designing my body before I left the house. The meeting room was remarkably clean and well decorated. Everything externally from my outward appearance to meeting environment was great but by the time I got home it was like the day had sucked out life and energy from me. What went wrong? We spend so much time designing our physical environment but how much time do you spend to design our mental environment? That is what I want us to talk about today.

Have you ever pondered why even with a perfect physical look and glamourous living space it still feels like you are in chaos? Do you know the same way stuff finds itself into your physical space, it also makes its way to your mental environment?

You see, We live in both a physical and a mental environment. Your life is far influenced by your mental than your physical. I once read a quote that said the commercial media are to your mental environment what factories are to the physical environment.  The information which goes into your mind comes from more sources than the commercial media.  Toxic information clutters the mind and cause self-doubt, fear, stress, anxiety and overthinking.

So my daer, It is your responsibility to intentionally design your mental environment which is your mind. Out of it flows thoughts, emotions, attitudes which leads to your behaviors. Your mind is the control center of your life. The thoughts in it stimulate your emotions, your reaction to those emotions is your attitude, your attitude leads to a behavior.

Information will always get into your mind but how are you going to let them influence you? It is out of your abilities to choose everything that comes in but you have the ability to determine what stays in your mind. This is what I refer to as designing your mind.

There is a way I create a healthy mental environment in order to excel in my daily task and have a flourishing mind. I will use the acronym map, M A P to help you remember it so write it down. Think of it as your MAP to a thriving mind.

• M for Monitor. Monitor your thoughts

If you want to improve your mental health, it is important to relate to yourself. Be aware of the thoughts in your mind. It is often said think about what you think about.

I believe in every relationship; you have to observe the other person in order to understand them better. You notice their feelings; it gives you an idea of what’s going through their mind even if they don’t say it. It’s like a new born baby who cries when she needs a diaper change. She doesn’t say the word but just by observing her feelings you can tell the words in her mind.

In the same way, if we are conscious observers of our feelings and actions, they will lead us to our thoughts.  Empowering thoughts relates feelings of joy, love, peace and happiness while disempowering thoughts make us feel anxious, pain, guilty, shame, sad, angry.

If you do not like how you feel, pause and think. If possible, write down the thoughts going through your mind at that moment. Then take it a further, that brings us to the A in the acronym map.

• A FOR Analyze. Analyze your narrative.

Pay attention to what you say internally. How do you talk to yourself in your mind? For by your words you shall be justified and by your same words you will be condemned. Go through your thoughts, if you had written them done, analyze them. What among them is truth and which of them is just your personal bias.

A lot of our mental suffering comes from the conversation in our minds so it is important to take the thoughts off your mind and analyze it for truth or lies, faith or fear.

These narratives have been created through previous experiences; what happened in your past, the meaning you attach to the event, how we think about it and what we you believe you can or can’t do.

It is not the circumstances of your life which produce a negative or positive self-talk. It is your interpretation of the events that produces the emotions associated with the talks. Just the other day I bought a bag of candy. I told my kids I will only give them a portion of it a day. My three year old quickly ate hers and asked for more I told her “no honey, you’ve had your share for today, I won’t give you more. She yelled and said “mom you are so mean, I want more candy now.” I felt her frustration and almost immediately a thought came to my mind, “you a really mean. Why don’t you just give you the candy. Bad mom!” along with that thought I felt guilt, shame and sadness. I had to stop myself and Analyze the situation. Am I mean for keeping my words? on the contrary I think I should be proud of myself for teaching her how to keep her words despite the situation which was her tantrum in this case.  We often jump to conclusion and take sides with toxic thoughts. It was easy for me to say I am a bad mom, stay sad and who knows what next will follow. My dear you have to talk back to your thoughts. Stand up to them as you would stand up to a bully.

This leads us to the third point. The P in Our acronym Map.

• Priorities. Prioritize the information you let get rooted in your mental environment. You can’t allow every information plant its seed and flourish.

You have to handpick what you read on social media, what you watch, books you read, the people who talk into your life. Do you consume information that drains your energy or fire you up? Be conscious of the information you consume. Tailor it down to what’s really important in building you.  Surround your mind with inspiration. Who do you hang out with? Are they people who encourage you or talk you down?

You might say well, Manyi you don’t know my situation. The people I work with and live with are so negative. Every time I try to do a good thing God has placed in my heart, they discourage me and pull me down. What do I do? Do I cut them off?  My friend, I know there is a lot of information out there telling you to cut off anyone who is negative and not in support your dream irrespective of who it is, your spouse, mother, sister, best friend, whoever. You don’t have to cut people off your life because they are negative and have opposing opinions. You can tell them less and if possible, spend less time with them. if you must live and work in the same space as them make up your mind not to let the negativity make you miserable.  Rise above it. Don’t settle and say “the people in my life are just pulling me down. The boundary lines have fallen for me in unpleasant places. This is my luck. No, my friend it is not your luck. You are made for more and you can do it wherever you are and whatever forces are against you. You have to strive to excel. Don’t give up. Keep your joy, be your best right where you are. Rise and take the step forward, you may never see the door of opportunities God has opened for you unless you take the step above negativity.

Finally, my darlings, prioritize time daily to clear your mind. Every day you pick up garbage from your house and deposit it in the garbage bin outside. Imagine what will happen if you let your egg shells, residue from fish, food scraps stay in your kitchen for days and weeks. It will stink right? That happens to your mind too if you do not declutter it. Set time every day to mediate on the word so it renews your mind. If you can, journal, so you take thoughts off your mind to paper.

To design your mental environment always use your MAP. M for Monitor, A for Analyze and P for prioritize. If you do this, your mind will flourish and so will your life. For as you think, so you are.